Letters

I was doing some home organization and found letters I wrote to myself throughout the years. I haven't picked up the practice since my last letter in 2006, but it was still kind of amusing to read:

The 1st letter was not dated, but written my sophomore year in high school as an assignment in one of my classes. The envelope read: To Riana Not to be Opened Until September 12, 2002

Dear Riana,
Pretty soon you'll be turning 16, and hopefully you'll graduate from high school. I hope that you did well on your A.C.T's and got accepted to tons of colleges. Well, since you're a senior now I hope your classes are really easy. And if you have a steady boyfriend DON'T GET MARRIED!! (this is actually double underlined)
In the future you can have a family and all that, but not now! I hope you're happy.
See ya

The 2nd letter is dated September 12, 2002 and inscribed "Not to be opened until September 12, 2005"

Dear Riana,
Today is your 18th birthday. It is the morning right now so I can't tell you if you enjoyed yourself or not today...The year is beginning but I have a feeling that it will seem to go by in a flash...Even if I don't really have a list like in A Walk to Remember, I wanna travel the world, learn a different language, see a Broadway musical in New York City, take up photography, learn how to fence...My list is a little bit longer than this but I have to start getting ready for school. Hope all is well in 3 years.

The 3rd letter is dated September 12, 2005 and "Not be opened until September 12, 2008"

Dear Riana,
I have always said that on my 24th birthday I would have found somebody to marry. Now I wonder if that assertion may have proved a little hasty. I can only really hope for a life full of meaning and purpose. If not to anyone else than to just me. Everything always seems so silly and unimportant when said out  loud. I feel this letter will be no different. Off the top of my head I can scarcely impart any goals with which to accomplish in the next three years that won't come off sounding naive or fruitless. I aspire only to that which is good, and whatever that implies. I may lead an imperfect life but I am content in my imperfect happiness. 

My last letter is dated 9/24/06 with no "To be opened" date (I actually didn't open this letter until today)

Dear Riana,
My journal entries are supposed to showcase the purpose for writing this letter. Whether it is just boredom or just a desire to punctuate who I am @ this moment. I felt it necessary to go ahead. I like the idea of little snapshots of time recorded before they're lost and forgotten no matter how small they seem to be.
My twenty-second birthday was last Tuesday. I spent it sitting on an airplane and fretting about whether or not I would find my flight or the right gate. This was my first business trip...kind of a letdown.
My life in general seems to be a lot different than I imagined. I always say that I don't know what I thought it would be but I know that's not really true. To be completely honest, I thought my life would be a lot shinier. I thought I would have a lot more things figured out. Love, career, money. I thought I would be less alone. I thought I would have traveled a lot more. I thought it would be different. I would be taller...
When I was in high school I had such set goals. Now that those goals have been accomplished I find myself w/out them. Goals. I still feel too young and unsettled to want to own a house, too unprepared to want a family of my own.
I'm a lot happier than this letter suggests. Confusion doesn't always mean unhappiness. The uncertainty would have been excruciating a few years ago but I feel I'm doing okay.