Happy

Last week's his and hers Easter baskets

I have a tendency to think as 'future' changes to 'present' with time, 'life', and more specifically, MY life, will have clarified somehow. I will know more things. Or maybe it's more, I will "not know" fewer things. I don't know why I continue in this belief as it seldom works in this way of thinking.

I grow. I regress. I dream of changes and brace for them. I wonder if I will always be this afraid. I wait for moments where I can be brave. I see happiness inches from my fingertips and convince myself I can feel it. Today, I feel it. Nothing is different from yesterday, but I can feel happy today. My thoughts are cyclical. My life is cyclical. But not bad. Not enough material to complain about. Not today.