There's a line that a character in the Doctor Who episode "The Doctor's Wife" says as she tries to think of a word. A word so sad and complicated and big. "Alive"
"Alive isn't sad," the Doctor says. And she replies, "It's sad when it's over."
Grieving is hard partly because the expectation is that it is something one eventually gets over. But the part I like best are the moments when the sorrow makes room for the joy. When reminisces still laced with pain carries happiness alongside.
My mom and I were talking at lunch and the thought struck me how the people that are gone are still very much alive. How we carry them in pockets of our memories and bring them out when we need them. I'm not speaking of the here after or the next phase. I mean the right now. Keeping them. Holding on to loved ones so that we find their presence soothing.
I know that this coming NZ trip will be difficult in many ways, but I hope that I come through it okay.
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