20 Feet

I watched 20 Feet From Stardom last week. The movie follows several backup singers that have sung for some of the most famous singers and bands. It spotlights their talent, their dreams, and their journeys. There is a lot of disappointment for these women and not for lack of talent or hard work. Sometimes dreams never materialize even when you've done everything right.

When the movie showcased Lisa Fischer, I was mesmerized. Her voice is magic. Strong. Transcendent.  She talks about singing like it's a fragile thing, a gift that she treasures. I know that to be true. My dad could sing in a way that would make people stop whatever they were doing to listen. His voice was sweet but commanding. When I was little I tried to sing like him. I didn't have the Mariah Carey voice that I revered, but my voice was strong too and singing made feel like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I miss it. That clarifying feeling. I worry that one day I'll look and it won't be there anymore. Singing is tied up with being brave and I have trouble doing both things, but I'm working on the brave part.