Magic

I'm hoping to finish The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion tomorrow. I'm enjoying it immensely while also carrying a persistent feeling that I am going to die. Luckily, I am not known for an accurate intuition. When describing the sudden illness that falls her daughter she says:

"...I had always at some level apprehended, because I was born fearful, that some events in life would remain beyond my ability to control or manage them. Some events would just happen. This was one of those events. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends."

She also quotes a line from a poem by  Manley Hopkins, "I wake and feel the fell of dark, not day."

Simple and perfect. I am often captured by tragedy, letting it pull me in and whisper its secrets. I try to remember every feeling, every thought, but pain tends to avoid traveling by word. This attraction made me a morose little kid, but it frees me as an adult. I can articulate my feelings a lot better. I can view challenges with better perspective now. Distance, even. I am not altogether cured, but I find I don't really want to be.

Cool

Upfront

The TV schedule for this upcoming season has been announced over these past few days and I can't help but think how the show I was most excited to see last year was a supreme disappointment. I won't say what it was, but I'm trying to reign in my excitement until the shows actually air in the fall.

Who am I kidding? Mindy Kaling had me at "I'm Sandy Bullock!"

New

Today marks my very first piano lesson and all I hope is that it goes better than my flute and violin lessons which preceded it. The key difference is that I actually want to practice and I am footing the entire bill for this musical education and not my mother so it might be more appreciated. Sorry, mom.

Although it's now halfway through the year, I still carry this silly hope that in 2012 I will be wiser. I want to try to be less afraid, more willing to find new adventures. I say silly only because I have a tendency to choose the path that keeps my feet firmly planted to the ground rather than catching a friendly breeze to see where it might take me. I suppose, I want to surprise myself. For the good.

Run

This past Saturday, I ran the Susan G Komen 5K race with my mom. My joints are still complaining from this decision but I'm going to file it under "Mother's day gift" and next time try to give my legs more of a heads up. I don't think a lot about how age will effect me, but I wonder if that shouldn't change.

My work launched a health and wellness campaign today and I think I'll use it as an excuse to focus on eating better, exercising and managing my stress. I know I'll probably never reach the carefree yogi I see among my peers in yoga class, gallivanting through Costa Rica to go bike riding and eating vegan, but I can improve. I can at least try.

Marvel

I adored watching Avengers and the first episode of Sherlock. I could have cheated and watched the series in New Zealand, but infrequent wifi kept me honest. 

As I was on my girl power high (after coming on board the Black Widow/Irene Adler love train), I read an article from Entertainment Weekly asking if the premiere of Sherlock wasn't a bit sexist. Suddenly I wondered if my feminist spidey senses carried one fatal flaw. Let's call it, the Whedon syndrome. 

Geeking out to the marvelous prowess, the enumerable cleverness of Stephen Moffat and Joss Whedon himself could occasionally cloud gender biases, but then I don't think so. It's kind of like my views on colorblindness. A person's gender and race DOES make them different, but the differences add to our character not detract. 

What makes Black Widow and Irene Adler interesting to me is that they are clever. They're resourceful. They actively participate in the game without losing who they are as women. Moffat and Whedon portray both with such great skill. I'm excited to see more from both. 

 

Avenge

A couple nights ago, I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer's "Once More with Feeling" as my husband puts it "to cheer you up from failing at knitting". Okay, he said it nicer than that, but that's the way it sounded. And of course, the jokers have to tempt me with "Tabula Rasa" right after...In other words, I am more than ready to get my Avengers on tomorrow!